At the Mercy of My Mind

Part 2: OCD

At the Mercy of My Mind

Quick! Tap 3 times!

Ok: 1, 2, 3.

Now your parents will survive.

My mind, evil in nature.

Me, giving in each time,

To my clairvoyant syndrome of lies,

Who only claims falsehood,

And whose threats terrify.

Stop, turn around.

Rewind, adjust the volume.

Now, please repeat three times.

I'm caught in a cycle of unending demands.

Each time I try to say no,

Another one I love is at risk of being damned.

This is all I have ever known,

Do and don't question,

For if I inquire,

I'll receive a bone rattling suggestion.

Once, it thought I should pick up a knife,

And stab my way through all those I've loved in life.

But this would only end in sorrow,

For me and those I'd have hurt,

I put the metaphorical knife down,

And became inert.

Mom! I would scream.

Please help me!

Something is wrong!

My mind is mean!

Breaking down in her arms,

I'd weep and shriek,

I claimed I'd hurt no one,

A promise my mind couldn't keep.

The one casualty of it all:

My happiness at the time.

I fell and spiraled into this madness,

At the mercy of my mind.